


HEAVEN

by klancestxn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fuck Buddies to Lovers, M/M, Trans Akaashi Keiji, Trans Male Character, Very implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 10:29:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12479512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klancestxn/pseuds/klancestxn
Summary: Bokuto had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t remember how he got to the party nor how many shots he took the previous night nor what he drank. Fucking Kuroo and his persuasiveness and weird concoctions he calls drink. Fuck Chemistry majors.





	HEAVEN

**Author's Note:**

> it was my first try at writing a transgender character, please notify me if there's something wrong with the way it's written!
> 
> unedited

Bokuto had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t remember how he got to the party nor how many shots he took the previous night nor what he drank. Fucking Kuroo and his persuasiveness and weird concoctions he calls drink. Fuck Chemistry majors.

Bokuto groaned as he sat up from the bed he was in. The first thing he realized was that he was butt naked in a stranger’s house, yet something seemed familiar to him. Said stranger is not in the bed. Bokuto assumed the other made a run for it. It was Saturday so he flopped back on the bed with another groan. He was thankful that the other person had closed the blinds. After the queasiness subsided, Bokuto sat up and took a good look at the room.

Bokuto swallowed. He knew exactly where he was. He was in Akaashi’s shared apartment with Kenma. How the hell did he end up there when he was clearly at his apartment complex? He a floor below for fuck’s sake!

A soft knock on the door made him jolt. The door slowly opened and Akaashi poked his head in. “Good morning, Bokuto-san. Are you still naked?”

Bokuto scratched the back of his head. “Yeah.” He croaked out and cleared his throat. Akaashi handed him a mug of tea. After taking a sip, Bokuto asked what he wanted to ask since he woke up. “Did. . . we. . . you know.”

Akaashi only stared at him. “No, Bokuto-san. You also need to stop coming to my apartment every time you are drunk. It disturbs out neighbors and you also need to stop stripping naked.”

Bokuto’s cheeks were crimson as he looked away. Akaashi sighed and sat next to him. “I don’t mind if you come over, Bokuto-san. You just almost always come when you are drunk and Kenma and I already got a warning for it.”

Bokuto’s mood did not change. He was embarrassed because Akaashi was right. Whenever he was drunk he would go straight to Akaashi’s and Kenma’s place without thinking what they were doing (mostly sleeping) or if they were home (which they always were.)

“I’m sorry.” Bokuto mumbled out. “I’ll show myself out.”

Akaashi breathed. That was all he could do. He knew Bokuto was hungover and his mood was clearly not the greatest. He knew there was something more to Bokuto, but he could not point it out. Whatever it was, Bokuto was hiding it well. He watched as Bokuto got dressed. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. He had seen Bokuto’s bits too many times to count. He has also had Bokuto’s bits inside of him.

Akaashi shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. That was about a two weeks ago. He knew Bokuto was nervous when asking if they did anything. They had agreed that both had to be sober or nothing would happen. Unlike one time where they were both pissed drunk and tried to do it in Kuroo’s bathroom. Bokuto ended with a sprained ankle and Akaashi with an ugly bruise on his cheekbone. That was when they agreed no sex while drunk.

“I’m off.”

“Bokuto-san. Wait.”

Bokuto stopped by the door, hand on the knob. He turned to Akaashi who was walking towards him. His cheeks were cupped by Akaashi’s long fingers and his forehead was kissed by soft, thin lips.

“You can stay for brunch.”

“It’s okay, ‘Kaashi. I don’t want to bother Kenma.” He was – clearly – still in his dejected mood.

“Kenma isn’t here today. He left for his parent’s last night.” He took Bokuto’s hand in his and dragged the dejected wing spiker towards the kitchenette. He made Bokuto sit down on one of the stools as he started to prepare breakfast. He prepared miso soup, rice, and fried pork. He sat across from Bokuto and ate slowly. He was watching Bokuto as he ate. He wasn’t very excited to do so.

Akaashi sighed. He didn’t know what to do. Of course, Bokuto needed to learn his limits when it came to alcohol. (Or more like how to say no to Kuroo.) Also, he needed to learn to go straight to his apartment when he was drunk. Akaashi was going to die of sleep deprivation and constant backache from sleeping on the couch instead of his comfortable bed. Bokuto was a restless sleeper.

“Bokuto-san.” Silence. He sighed again and placed his hand on Bokuto’s chin. “I don’t mind you coming here if you’re drunk. What I do mind is if you come here making a ruckus and stripping naked in front of our door if either Kenma and I do not answer. You need to be considerate of the other tenants that live here. I’m okay with you crashing here, but every weekend, Bokuto-san? It’s not fair for Kenma.” The _or me_ went unspoken, but it was as clear as the glass Bokuto was holding.

“Ah! I’m sorry, ‘Kaashi.” Bokuto nearly spilled his miso soup as he leaned over the island to hug Akaashi. The latter let out a quiet chuckle. He knew Bokuto would be okay.

After breakfast, Bokuto decided to stay. He only did so because Kenma was not there. He knew he was a little too loud for Kenma’s liking. The two decided to watch movies on Akaashi’s laptop while cuddling in bed. Akaashi was surprised Bokuto wasn’t with his head stuck in the toilet like he usually was.

In the middle of the movie, Bokuto started to absentmindedly run his hand over Akaashi’s navel. He always did that if the movie was starting to bore him. It usually ended in sex. Yet, Akaashi was not having that today. He wasn’t in the mood. He took Bokuto’s hand and brought it to his chest instead, wrapping Bokuto’s hand in his. He felt Bokuto huff but he didn’t complain.

“’Kaashi?” Akaashi hummed. “Why are you wearing your binder?”

“I was going out later. But I’m not in the mood.”

“Liar.” Bokuto could see right through him like a glass wall. “What’s the real reason?”

Akaashi sighed. “I feel more like myself like this.” He mumbled.

“But it’s not good for you!” Bokuto reached over Akaashi and paused the movie before turning Akaashi around to face him. He had a worried look in his eyes. “It’s just me in here. Do you trust me?”

“Of course, I do, Bokuto-san.” The reply was said without hesitation.

“Then please, take it off. We made a deal about this.”

Akaashi sighed. They indeed made a deal where on weekends Akaashi would not wear his binder if he was not going to go out. Especially in summer. Bokuto knew Akaashi would wear his binder all day if he could, but Bokuto was too observant so he couldn’t. It was unhealthy.

Akaashi huffed and stood from the bed to go to the bathroom. He was grumbling under his breath as he did so. He winced a little as he took it off. He wrapped it a little too tight that morning. When he went back to his room, Bokuto was on his stomach looking through his phone. He had clearly used Akaashi’s charger.

Instead of lying next to Bokuto, Akaashi lied on top of him. “Better?” Bokuto asked, unfazed of the man on top of him.

“Yeah.” Akaashi rested his chin on Bokuto’s shoulder. The latter was watching cute owl videos on his social media. Akaashi snorted; he wasn’t surprised. “Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto hummed in response, it almost felt like a purr against Akaashi’s chest.

“Can you head to the store and buy me pads? I just ran out.”

Having Bokuto as a friend was the greatest thing Akaashi would ever experience. The man was never embarrassed when he had to buy pads or tampons if Akaashi needed it. Bokuto was always there for Akaashi if he needed it or left him alone if the former setter requested it. He would also fuck Akaashi to the next century if he was up for it. Some people thought they were in a relationship by how much time they spent together and how clingy Bokuto could be sometimes. They answered ‘no’ so many times, they got tired of it in the end and instead let people assume what they wanted.

Akaashi would be lying if he didn’t feel a pang of jealousy when a girl would come up to Bokuto to confess her feelings for him. He knew he could do nothing about it. Bokuto was a single man so he could do whatever he pleased. Akaashi could not stop him. Don’t get him wrong, he wanted to, but he couldn’t do it to him. Not like this. Instead, Akaashi would let Bokuto fuck him into the mattress and go on with life as if it had never happened before.

He was going to lose his mind. He never admitted it out loud, but he had feelings for his best friend.

Bokuto arrived with Akaashi’s preferred pads and tampons along with Akaashi’s favorite snacks and his hoodie. He unceremoniously threw the hoodie Akaashi’s way and went about to put the things away. When he made it back to Akaashi’s room, the setter was nearly drowning in Bokuto’s hoodie. He looked content.

Bokuto swallowed the lump in his throat and crawled on the bed. He opened his arms and Akaashi promptly snuggled closer. He knew how the latter got during his days. They weren’t pretty. Akaashi curled up against Bokuto’s chest, eyes glued on the screen of his computer where _Spirited Away_ was playing. _Howl’s Moving Castle_ would come next. Those were Akaashi’s comfort movies.

Feeling content, the wing spiker ran a hand through Akaashi’s hair. He could honestly stay that way all day long. It wasn’t until Akaashi looked up at him with his nose scrunched up that he realized he was still wearing last night’s clothes.

“Please shower, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto pouted but did as told. Akaashi was right. He was starting to smell. And bad. He was also smart enough – or forgetful enough – to leave spare clothes in Akaashi’s room. A drawer full. It was a true life saver either way.

Once out of the shower, Bokuto nearly tackled Akaashi on the bed begging for cuddles with pouty lips and puppy eyes. No wonder people thought they were together. Akaashi complied either way because he was feeling as clingy as Bokuto. Most of the time, Bokuto would spend Akaashi’s period with him. They were brutal and Akaashi could not wait to get a hysterectomy done. That was in his plans once he was out of college, had a job and was stable enough.

They spent most of the day in bed cuddling ad watching movies. Bokuto ordered pizza and settled on the floor. Akaashi didn’t want a dirty bed. As they ate, Bokuto told Akaashi about how wild the party was. Akaashi choked on his pizza when Bokuto told him about how he saw Tsukishima and Yamaguchi grinding on each other and making out. Akaashi honestly thought it was about time. The pinning was too much between those two.

“Bokuto-san?” Bokuto looked up from his phone where he was looking at the latest stats of the game between Meiji University and Tokyo U. “Have you ever thought about having a relationship with someone?” Akaashi was looking over his shoulder as Bokuto was sitting on the floor while Akaashi was on his bed.

The question caught Bokuto off guard. His eyes had widened a fraction and his phone almost slipped from his grasp. He furrowed his brows before answering. “Well, yeah. But I want to focus on my studies and volleyball.”

Akaashi hummed.

“Have you thought about it?”

Akaashi shrugged nonchalantly. “Not much. Besides, not a lot of people will be with a transgender, Bokuto-san.” He was very aware of how people looked at him when Akaashi told them he was a transgender on the first date. Every person he had dated had a certain look in their eyes that said they would not be getting back to him for a second date. Akaashi was grateful his parents were open minded with his transition. Akaashi loved them for that.

Akaashi nearly toppled over the bed as Bokuto hugged him. If it weren’t for his quick reflexes, they would both be on the floor, not just Bokuto. Bokuto let him go, hands on his shoulders. “Those people are assholes and don’t see the amazing guy in front of them. They’re blind, ‘Kaashi! They’re crazy!” Bokuto’s hands had slid down to his biceps. He squeezed. “When did you get so buff?” He let out an ‘ooh’.

Akaashi chuckled. “I upped the T a few months back. And thank you, Bokuto-san.” He kissed Bokuto’s forehead softly.

He was really grateful for Bokuto.

 

The next week, Akaashi was drowning in homework and projects. He hadn’t procrastinated. His professors were just jerks who thought their class was the most important of all. Akaashi hated half of his professors.

He was in the library working on a chemistry project with a few classmates. He had not seen Bokuto the last few days but he had opted to wear Bokuto’s hoodie. It was fall after all. It was the perfect excuse not to give it back. Whoever thought Akaashi was innocent was very wrong.

Akaashi’s phone vibrated next to his notebook. He ignored it because he needed to finish his work. He could not slack off. The vibrating became incessant. A vein in his forehead was about to pop because he knew exactly who it was. He decided to open the messages.

_Bokuto-san: AKAASHIIIII_

_Bokuto-san: YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED RIGHT NOW_

_Bokuto-san: KUROO ASKED KENMA OUT_

_Bokuto-san: AND KENMA SAID YES_

_Bokuto-san: I CAN’T BELIVE IT CAN YOU_

_Bokuto-san: I’M LITERALLY STOKED_

_Bokuto-san: KUROO IS THE CHEESIEST MAN EVER_

_Bokuto-san: HE ASKED KENMA OUT WITH A FLOWER AND A BRAND NEW VIDEO GAME_

_Bokuto-san: Akaaaaaaashiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_

_Bokuto-san: Are you there???????_

_Bokuto-san: Oh shit are you in class?!_

_Bokuto-san: I’M SORRY KAASHI CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN_

Akaashi sighed. Bokuto could have sent everything in one long text message but when he was excited, it didn’t work like that. He also thought that elongating his name would catch Akaashi’s attention. He decided to reply.

_Me: I know. Kenma told me earlier. I’m glad for them and no, Bokuto-san. I’m in the library doing homework. I’ll call you later._

He sighed and went back to work. It was going to be a long night for Akaashi Keiji.

When he arrived at his apartment, he was not expecting a bundle of energy going towards him. Bokuto was in his training gear and sweaty. He clearly had just gotten out of practice. He sighed inwardly.

Bokuto started to spew about how practice went and how “awesome” Kuroo was for the creative way of asking Kenma out. Akaashi listened to Bokuto as he spoke. He honestly wanted to shower and lie down. He was exhausted. Apparently, Bokuto took notice of it. He stopped talking and cocked his head to the side.

“Are you okay, ‘Kaashi?”

“I’m just a little tired, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi answered truthfully as he took off Bokuto’s hoodie. “You also need a shower. You’re starting to reek.”

Bokuto pouted but he guessed Akaashi was right. He hadn’t showered nor changed since practice. He was too excited to see Akaashi and talk about Kuroo and Kenma. Begrudgingly, he looked for clothes in his drawer and went to the bathroom. He almost yelped when the curtain drew back and Akaashi joined him.

Instinctively, Bokuto covered his bits and was turning a deep crimson. “A-Akaashi!” He squeaked. “What are you doing in here?”

“Showering.” Akaashi deadpanned and reached behind Bokuto to adjust the temperature. He didn’t know how Bokuto enjoyed extremely hot showers.

“We agreed on no shower sex!” Bokuto placed his hands on his hips as if chastising Akaashi.

“I’m not here for sex, Bokuto-san. I’m here to save water. The bills are not cheap.”

The two showered as if they had done it a hundred times before. They washed each other’s hair but cleaned their body themselves. They never knew when to stop once it started. Once out of the shower, they got dressed comfortably and sat down by the table to eat leftovers from the night before. They were eating in silence, the only sound the chatter of people in the hallway who passed by.

Akaashi slid his plate to the side and brought out his textbooks and notes only for them to be plucked away by Bokuto.

“No homework or studying.”

“Hah?”

“What I just said. You’ve studied enough for one day. Time to rest.”

“Bokuto-san. I need to study. I have a test next week and this is my weakest subject.”

Bokuto set Akaashi’s books down and crawled towards him. He swallowed thickly as he came nose to nose with Bokuto. Without thinking twice, Akaashi grabbed Bokuto’s shirt and pulled him in for a heated kiss. This was a common occurrence between the two. Bokuto would deprive Akaashi from studying to have a heated make out session.

 _No strings attached_ , Akaashi thought bitterly. He knew he was a masochist at heart, but not to this extent.

Bokuto had Akaashi pressed against the floor when the front door opened with a bang. They broke apart to see Kuroo and Kenma blinking at them unamused.

Akaashi made an intelligent noise close to an ‘uh’ before Kuroo waved him off. “We’ll be at my place. Have fun, kids!”

The two men on the floor looked at each other before falling into a fit of laughter. It wasn’t the first time Kuroo or Kenma caught them in a rather compromising position. Bokuto plopped down next to Akaashi, regretting it as his back hit the solid floor. Akaashi snorted and covered his nose and mouth to try and stifle the giggles. He didn’t know why he was laughing so much. He guessed all of the pent-up stress was finally coming out.

With a sigh, he looked at Bokuto who was staring at the ceiling, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. Akaashi wanted to kiss him again. Bokuto had apparently read his mind because in less than a second, Bokuto was on top of Akaashi kissing him feverishly. Akaashi squeaked in surprised but kissed back.

He didn’t know how it happened but one second they were on the floor and the next they were on Akaashi’s bed completely naked. Without warning, Bokuto lowered his head, hands gripping toned thighs. Akaashi’s back arched off the bed, hands gripping Bokuto’s hair. If he was honest, he had only ever given himself this freely to Bokuto. No other person had seen Akaashi Keiji in his ‘naked glory’ as Bokuto liked to say. The thought nearly made Akaashi snort. He had never given himself to others because of trust. He trusted Bokuto with his deepest secrets. Even with his life.

Akaashi moaned low as Bokuto slid into him, digging his nails into Bokuto’s back. The latter groaned.

Bokuto had never judged him once about anything. He was Akaashi’s most supportive friend. Of course, his other friends were as well, but Bokuto had been through every step of the way with him. Since Akaashi told his parents, since he started T, graduation, the rejection from other people and the start of college up until now, Bokuto had been through them all by his side without asking questions.

They came down from their high, breath mingling as Bokuto was still above Akaashi, sweat dripping from his nose and onto Akaashi’s chest. Post-orgasm, Bokuto always went quiet. Akaashi always ran a hand through Bokuto’s sweaty hair until the latter’s breath was back to normal. He fell onto Akaashi’s chest making him huff out a breath.

“Bokuto-san, please take off the condom before falling asleep.”

Bokuto groaned. Akaashi knew him too well.

 

Bokuto and Akaashi were on their way to Bokuto’s apartment on a cold October afternoon. Akaashi’s teeth were nearly chattering. He hadn’t exactly dressed appropriately for the weather. The morning was uncomfortably humid so he dressed in a sweater. It was a mistake. Akaashi did not understand how Bokuto was wearing the same thing and it looked like it didn’t bother him at all.

“E-Excuse me?” A voice squeaked from behind them.

The two looked back to see a girl considerably short – she reached Bokuto’s chest – with long, bleached hair and deep, brown eyes. She was fidgeting with her coat as she looked at the floor.

“Ah!” Bokuto exclaimed. “Yuuki-san!”

“B-Bokuto-kun, may I speak to you?”

Bokuto glanced at Akaashi who nodded. “I’ll see you later Bokuto-san.”

“Wait.” Bokuto rummaged through the front pocket of his bag before he took out his keys and handed them to Akaashi.

Akaashi nodded at him and bowed curtly at Yuuki-san before making his way to Bokuto’s apartment. They were clearly going to take a while if Bokuto gave Akaashi his keys.

Bokuto’s apartment wasn’t big. It was a studio apartment with the bathroom being the only area of privacy. His apartment was surprisingly clean the only mess being the ‘bedroom’ area – which was divided by a shoji screen – and the dishes in the sink. Akaashi was peeved at the mess so he put the dishes in the dishwasher and managed to sort Bokuto’s clothes between clean and dirty when the door opened.

“BO!”

Kuroo’s voice made Akaashi flinch. The man was loud.

“Bokuto-san isn’t here, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo jumped at Akaashi’s voice. He was raiding the fridge. “Akaashi! Where’s Bo?”

“He got held up by. . . an admirer.” Akaashi tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice but it was obvious it was there.

Kuroo sat down on Bokuto’s bed. (The latter saw no need for a couch because he was the only one there.) “It sounds more like an admirer by the bitterness in your voice.”

Akaashi’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. He looked at Bokuto’s T.V. and console. “I can’t tell him, Kuroo-san. Not yet. And what if he picks another person? He has so many admirers and people in line confessing to him. What am I supposed to do?” He pressed his knees close to his chest. He couldn’t meet Kuroo’s eyes. He was hurting all over.

Kuroo sighed. “I can’t say the sexual tension between you two is there because you always relieve it.” Akaashi’s cheeks turned brighter. “But the cluelessness is there. Bokuto’s an airhead. What else can you expect?”

Akaashi let out a huff of laughter. Bokuto could be many things, but when it came to romantic feelings directed at him, he was not the smartest of the bunch. Akaashi learned that the hard way.

The door slammed open making Akaashi and Kuroo jump. Bokuto had a scowl on his face. Akaashi had only seen a scowl like that during a game. He jumped to his feet and approached Bokuto who had slammed the door closed.

“Bokuto-san! What happened?” Akaashi asked, cupping Bokuto’s cold cheeks in his warm hands. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

Bokuto seemed to have visibly relaxed, but the scowl was still present. “Yuuki-san was talking shit about you.” He spat.

Akaashi’s eyes widened and retracted his hands. “W-What?”

“She was talking bullshit about you, ‘Kaashi! I wasn’t going to let her do that! She started talking shit when I rejected her.”

“Why did you reject her?”

Bokuto startled at Kuroo’s voice for a second but the scowl returned. “I knew she was a snake since the beginning.”

Kuroo snickered while Akaashi frowned. “How did you know she was like that?”

“Because I saw the look on her face when she looked at you.” Bokuto mumbled as he flopped next to Kuroo.

Akaashi blinked twice before shaking his head. “The way she looked at me?” He carefully climbed on the bed and sat down at the end in the middle so he could face the two hooligans in front of him.

“It was with disgust.” Bokuto frowned. “I can’t accept a confession from someone who doesn’t like my best friend!”

And there goes Akaashi’s heart.

“Bro.” Kuroo started. “I thought I was your best bro!” He seemed genuinely offended. Akaashi didn’t miss the sympathetic glance thrown his way. He hated it.

“No, bro. You don’t understand.” Bokuto shook his head. “You’re my best _bro_. Akaashi is my best _friend._ There is a difference. You see-“

“Please.” Akaashi muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I do not need an explanation between the difference of a friend and a bro, Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi!” Bokuto whined.

Akaashi sighed exasperated. “What is the difference, Bokuto-san?”

“I wouldn’t fuck my bros.”

Kuroo cackled so loud, Akaashi’s choking noises went unnoticed. He _felt_ his face go red. He didn’t know if he was embarrassed or pissed at Bokuto’s way of putting those words into place. All he knew was that he stood up from the bed and a loud smack cut Kuroo’s laughter short.

Akaashi’s palm stung and so did his eyes. He balled his hands into fists ignoring how Bokuto looked at him with wide eyes and cheek turning pink. “Good to know you only view me as a fuck toy.” Akaashi’s voice was shaky. “The key please.” Bokuto went to protest. “ _The key, Bokuto-san_.”

Still in shock, Bokuto got his keys and returned Akaashi the extra spare he got for Bokuto. He grabbed his bag, keeping the tears at bay. “I’ll see you around, Kuroo-san.” He closed the door behind him and walked into the chilly air, tears running down his face.

 

The next three weeks were a blur for Akaashi. If he wasn’t holed up in his room with Kenma, he was at the library studying. He wanted, no, _needed_ his mind to be busy or it would drift. He was hurt that Bokuto would say that. He was also shocked at his actions. He had never hit someone before, playfully yes, but never purposely.

Two days after the incident, Kuroo had passed by with Bokuto’s duffle bag to collect his things. That hurt Akaashi even more. He didn’t know what was going to happen. He didn’t want to stop being friends, but what the wing spiker said still hurt him. He had ignored all the messages and calls from Bokuto. He didn’t want much to do with him. Yet he missed Bokuto. He wouldn’t tell it to anyone. Not even Kenma nor Konoha.

He wouldn’t tell Kenma because he would tell Kuroo and Kuroo would inevitable tell Bokuto. He wouldn’t tell Konoha because he would call Bokuto and chew him out for being so insensitive.

Basically, Akaashi had no one to vent to because they would – one way or another – let Bokuto know. Akaashi was not going to let that happen.

He had been moping – although he didn’t want to admit it – for a solid three weeks. It was the longest time he had gone without talking to Bokuto. Kenma felt helpless because no matter what he did, Akaashi would not smile. If he did, his eyes were still sad.

On the fourth week, Kuroo had barged in to the apartment with Bokuto and Kenma in tow. Bokuto was nearly screaming bloody murder. He was clearly there against his will. Akaashi was watching Kuroo drag Bokuto inside with wide eyes. Kuroo had a murderous look in his eyes as he made Bokuto sit down on a chair.

“You two,” Kuroo gestured at Bokuto and Akaashi, “will talk about what happened. Talk, scream, have a heart-to-heart. I don’t fucking care! Just get this fucking horned owl out of my apartment!” Kuroo slammed the door behind himself and Kenma after they walked out.

The silence in the apartment was deafening. Akaashi had been reading and drinking a cup of tea until Kuroo decided to not so pleasantly walk in with Bokuto as hostage. He was feeling uneasy, hands clutching the mug like a lifeline. Bokuto was quiet as well. He was looking anywhere but at Akaashi. They both knew Bokuto was in the wrong, but Akaashi decided to take the first step.

“I apologize for slapping you, Bokuto-san.” He started, holding the mug so tight, his knuckles turned white. “It was very rude of me.”

Bokuto stayed quiet, except for a few sniffles. When Akaashi looked up at him, he was crying. Not the movie kind of crying where the main role has tears running down their face. Bokuto was ugly crying, wiping the snot and tears with the sleeve of his sweater.

“Akaashi!” He sobbed and scrambled to sit at the black haired student’s feet. His head was bowed and his shoulders were shaking. “I don’t deserve your apology. I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have never said that. Even if it was meant as a joke. I hurt you. I apologize. I understand if you don’t want to see me again. I’m just very sorry, ‘Kaashi.”

Akaashi cleared his throat, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Bokuto-san, I cannot forgive you very easily. What you said hurt me. And our agreement as sex partners has to end.”

“I know.”

“Another thing that hurt me was that you send Kuroo-san to get your things instead of coming here yourself.”

“Kenma wouldn’t let me in.”

Akaashi chuckled airily. It had been a while since he had done so. It felt good. “Kenma was only looking out for me as Kuroo-san would do for you.” Hesitantly, he carded his fingers through Bokuto’s un-gelled hair. He scrunched his nose at how greasy it felt. “How long has it been since you washed your hair?”

“How long has it been since you slept?” Bokuto retorted.

Akaashi knew his eyebags were very obvious. “A few days.”

Bokuto snorted. “That makes two of us.” He raised his head for the first time. “You should shower and rest.”

“You too, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto nodded and stood up slowly. Akaashi knew the wing spiker had something else to say but he didn’t push it. Instead, he watched as Bokuto walked at a snail’s pace towards the door. Akaashi sighed.

“Is there anything else, Bokuto-san?”

Bokuto jumped startled. He was chewing his lip as he faced Akaashi. “I, um, your birthday present is with Kenma. It’s a little early but, uh, yeah. I’ll see you around.” He walked out of the door leaving a shocked Akaashi behind.

Once Bokuto is gone, Akaashi scrambles to get his phone. He called Kenma without a second thought. “Where is it?” He asked after Kenma answered.

“Huh?” Was Kenma intelligent reply.

“My present. Bokuto-san told me about it. Where it is, Kenma?”

“On my desk.”

Akaashi didn’t hand up correctly before he made his way to Kenma’s room. On top of his desk was a small box and a note. Gingerly, he took it in his hands and sat on the chair. The box was small. It fit in the palm of his hand. He opened the box and saw a key and a volleyball key chain. Confused, he opened the letter. It was Bokuto’s messy writing.

_Akaashi,_

_I know we aren’t in speaking terms but Kuroo told me that he was looking for a bigger apartment for him and Kenma. Kenma said he already told you. I did some hunting on my own because I didn’t want you to feel lonely. I found an apartment a few minutes walk from campus. The rent is cheap and it’s only if you want. It has one room but it’s big enough for two beds! Kitchen is kind of small cause it’s joined with the living room but it’s comfortable! I already signed the papers, so you can move in when you want. No pressure. You can give the key back if you don’t want to. I also talked to your parents about it. They were cool with it._

_Happy Birthday, Kaashi._

  * _Bokuto_



Akaashi wanted to cry. He did. He knew he had to start looking for an apartment for himself. He knew Kenma wanted to live with Kuroo. He couldn’t hold it against the gamer. Chewing on his lip, he picked up his phone, fingers hovering over the screen.

_Me: When can I start moving in?_

Four weeks later, Akaashi was in his new apartment. He made it clear to Bokuto that it did not mean they would go back to their old ways. Bokuto seemed to understand. The shoji screen he had in his old apartment was what divided their beds. They wanted at least a little bit of privacy. Akaashi had a feeling they would not be using both beds much. They were both cuddlers.

From what little furniture Kenma and Akaashi had in their apartment, Akaashi took most of it as Kuroo had everything they needed and Bokuto had barely any. Kenma refused to accept the money from Akaashi. The latter could do nothing.

Akaashi was sitting comfortably in front of the couch, textbooks open on the coffee table. He had peace and quiet because Bokuto was at volleyball practice. The professors were as brutal as ever and Akaashi was not going to slack off. Not even for a bit. He hated college. But he also loved every moment of it.

He was halfway through his Modern Lit homework when he heard the lock click. He heard Bokuto mumble a quiet ‘I’m home’ and said a ‘Welcome home’ just as quiet. He knew something was wrong with Bokuto. He could hear it in the wing spiker’s voice. Something must have gone wrong in practice or one of his classes.

Akaashi knew Bokuto was not comfortable telling him his problems like before. He would usually talk about them to Kuroo who told them to Kenma who told them to Akaashi. It was another cycle.

“Bokuto-san.” He called as Bokuto was on his way to their room.

Bokuto visibly startled at Akaashi’s voice. “Yes?” He squeaked as he turned around, cheeks a little red.

Akaashi pats the empty spot next to him. He watches as Bokuto approaches, gaze down and hands clenched at his sides. He sits down stiffly, keeping a good foot between them. “What’s wrong? And, please, don’t lie to me.”

Bokuto chews his bottom lip before he sighs. “I’m sorry, ‘Kaashi.”

Akaashi furrows his eyebrows. “What for? I don’t understand.” He turns to face Bokuto.

“For everything. I know nothing’s gonna be the same but I miss it. We don’t talk much because you’re studying and I don’t want to interrupt or you’re out with Kenma or your friends or sleeping or it’s me doing those things. We don’t hang out anymore. Just in the mornings and I miss you. Please stop avoiding me.”

Akaashi blinked. He let the words sink in and Bokuto is right. They do not hang out anymore. Not because Akaashi was avoiding Bokuto, it’s the last thing he would do now. He just wanted to be ahead of things so he could grasp what the professor would be talking about in class properly. He never wanted to avoid Bokuto.

Akaashi spoke what was on his mind. “I thought you were avoiding me. I usually went out because you weren’t here and I’m not used to being in an empty apartment so I get lonely quickly.” He frowned; he was sounding clingy. “And no, Bokuto-san, nothing will be the same because we will not go back to our old ways. Especially now that I have feelings for someone.”

Bokuto turned to Akaashi so fast, he was afraid he would snap his own neck. Bokuto’s gold eyes were wide. “Who?! Who is it?!”

Akaashi chuckled at Bokuto’s excitement. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you, Bokuto-san. I haven’t told anyone about this.”

Bokuto’s shoulders slumped. “You don’t trust me anymore.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Akaashi’s eyes widened and he quickly scrambled out of his blanket to wrap his arms around Bokuto’s neck. “Of course I trust you! I’m just. . . afraid.” He tangled his fingers in Bokuto’s hair. “I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me.”

Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi hesitantly. “You don’t have to be. I’m always here for you.” His soft tone made goosebumps rise on Akaashi’s skin.

“Please don’t hate me, Bokuto-san.”

Bokuto tightened his grip on Akaashi’s shirt. “Never, Keiji.”

Tears pricked Akaashi’s eyes but with a deep breath he willed them away. He wanted to pull away from Bokuto but Bokuto didn’t relent. Akaashi thought it was better. He didn’t want to see Bokuto’s eyes as he confessed. He was now gripping Bokuto’s shirt in his clenched fists. “It’s you.” He managed to whisper and felt him stiffen up. “I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.” He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. For the ruined friendship that was to come? Akaashi wasn’t sure himself.

It hurt when he pulled away and Bokuto didn’t hold on like he was expecting him to. Akaashi looked away, knees pressed against his chest, waiting for Bokuto’s reaction. He had his eyes shut tight, tears threatening to spill the more Bokuto took to say something.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he stood up and rushed to put on his shoes that were by the door. He grabbed the first jacket he saw, phone and keys hurriedly and rushed out of the building. He called Kenma and could barely say anything as his throat constricted. Kenma said the door was open.

A few minutes later, Akaashi was walking into Kuroo and Kenma’s apartment. He was breathing heavily. When did he start running?

Kuroo and Kenma were curled up on the couch. Kuroo was the first to stand and ask Akaashi what was going on. Akaashi replied brokenly, “I confessed.” He hugged himself as Kuroo sat him on the couch.

Kuroo blinked. “To Bokuto?”

Akaashi nodded. “He didn’t say anything. He just sat there. I couldn’t even look at him. I feel so ashamed.” He let out a sob as he covered his face with his hands. “I can’t face him again.” His shoulders started to shake as he cried.

Kuroo wrapped his arms around Akaashi as he signaled Kenma to call Bokuto. He held Akaashi close as he ran a hand through his hair, calming him a little. When Kenma returned he had a mug of tea in his hand which he gave to Akaashi.

Akaashi’s fingers were shaking so badly, Kuroo had to take the mug from his hands. “Hey, calm down.” He murmured as Kenma curled up next to Akaashi. “It’ll be fine. Bo just needs to come to his senses.”

Akaashi sniffled as he curled up next to Kuroo. He didn’t realize how thin the jacket had been. He was freezing. The two warm bodies next to him lulled him to sleep.

Akaashi woke up to hushed whispers. He was still on Kuroo and Kenma’s bed, surrounded by blankets. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, wondering how long he’d been asleep.

“Bro, he’s sleeping.” He heard Kuroo whisper. “Let him. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.”

“I know he hasn’t been sleeping.” Bokuto hissed back. “You think I haven’t noticed?”

Akaashi was stiff on the bed, hands tight on the edge of the blankets.

“Then the more reason to let him sleep.” Kuroo sounded aggravated.

With a sigh, Akaashi stood up from the bed, blankets still wrapped around him. The first thing he saw was a very distressed Bokuto, sitting on the couch hands in his hair. Then Kuroo with his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at Bokuto with a frown. Last, he saw Kenma curled on the loveseat looking at Bokuto with calculating eyes.

Akaashi cleared his throat and all three heads snapped towards him. He felt his face flush at the sudden attention.

Bokuto was on his feet pushing past Kuroo and crushed Akaashi in a hug. He was babbling about how sorry he was. “I was just shocked, ‘Kaashi! I didn’t realize how stupid I was until you left! And I couldn’t even call you cause your phone is off! Kenma had to call me!”

Akaashi glared at Kenma who shrugged nonchalantly.

Bokuto pulled away just to look at Akaashi. He cupped Akaashi’s cheeks and kissed him. Akaashi tensed but kissed back. He wrapped his arms around Bokuto holding him close. Someone (Kuroo) cleared their throat and they pulled away, startled. Akaashi’s cheeks turned a bright red.

“If you’re going to make out, you have your own apartment.”

Bokuto laughed at Kuroo’s words and led Akaashi to the door where they both put on their shoes. Bokuto gave Akaashi his coat; he smiled sheepishly as he took it. Bokuto chuckled and kissed his cheek. The walk back to the apartment was quiet, Akaashi didn’t know what to do with his hands so he shoved them in the pockets of the coat. He was honestly freezing. He was glad when they stepped into the apartment. Bokuto had left the heater on. Akaashi was grateful.

They sat under the kotatsu across from each other, feet brushing under it. He was about to speak when Bokuto stopped him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurted. “I didn’t know you had feelings for me so I was just shocked. I mean, I’ve had feelings for you for a few years now.” Akaashi’s eyes widened.  “Why do you think I rejected everyone?”

Akaashi spluttered. “B-But I thought you wanted to concentrate on your studies and volleyball!” His calm composure was thrown out the window at that moment.

Bokuto laughed. “That was my excuse, ‘Kaashi! I couldn’t tell them I had feelings for you! I wanted to tell you when I felt comfortable enough but then. . . I fucked up and never had the guts to tell you. I’m still sorry. I know I hurt you badly. And like, I understand if you don’t feel so comfortable with is doing anything anytime soon.”

Akaashi smiled. Bokuto looked cute when flustered. “Bokuto-san.”

“What?”

“Calm down.” He chuckled. “I understand that you’re feeling. . . insecure but so am I. You know I’ve never had a relationship before so I’m treading carefully. It’s new waters for me. I would say I want to take it slow but we’ve done everything the other way around.” Bokuto huffed out a laugh. “I have already forgiven you. It was hurtful, of course. But I know you didn’t mean it like that.”

Bokuto’s eyes were starting to water. Akaashi reached over and took Bokuto’s hand in his own. They were smiling at each other. Akaashi stood and walked towards Bokuto’s side. “Move back.”

Bokuto cocked his head in confusion but did as requested. Akaashi plopped on Bokuto’s lap and nuzzled his neck, breathing him in. Bokuto let out a squeak but wrapped his arms around Akaashi tightly.

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi mumbled.

Bokuto hummed, heard buried in Akaashi’s hair.

“Can we have sex tonight? I think almost two months of abstinence is enough.”

Bokuto’s loud laugh and tight grip on Akaashi’s hips was enough answer.


End file.
